Pathway to Resilience
By Carmela Cattuti, author of Between the Cracks
It is often said that children are resilient and bounce back from adversity much quicker than adults. But is that platitude reserved only for children or can adults rediscover their reserves of resilience? When we think of resilience we think of the power to return to one’s original state of youth and vitality. Somewhere between childhood and adulthood our ability to rise above adversity seems compromised. We become less buoyant each time an obstacle is placed in our path. Some people spend years trying to come back from the slightest transgression from another or from a job loss or divorce.
How does one return to a state a balance from unspeakable adversity? What if an entire family perishes in a car accident or a loved one is murdered? In this time of weather uncertainty and earth changes there are countless natural disasters across the planet. Who does one blame for tsunamis or earthquakes? The obvious answer is God, where ever he or she may be. We can rail against anyone we like, but to stay in a state of anger and seeking revenge keeps us from tapping into our innate resilience. If anyone would like to get back at God, accessing our power of resilience is the perfect remedy.
Here are four pathways to accessing resilience and coming back in the world stronger:
1) Express whatever it is you are feeling. If you are grieving for the loss of a loved one or a natural disaster has taken your home then find a way to express that grief. Unexpressed grief leads to depression and illness. Expression can take many forms: talk to a therapist or councilor, exercise, and journal writing. Yoga is a wonderful practice for relieving stress. These are just a few techniques to free yourself from the adverse effects of frozen grief. Find one that works for you and stick with it until you feel a release.
2) Cultivate and practice detachment. Many regard detachment as a dirty word, but it is essential in accessing resilience. To some the word carries a negative connotation of not caring. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Detachment assists our psyche to seek balance and vision. Detachment is a stepping back from the circumstance and viewing it from a more expanded place. This stance often accelerates problem solving and solutions seem to come out of nowhere.
3) Take yourself out of the victim mind set. Do not blame anyone for your situation and take full responsibility for your life. Once you stop blaming others you are completely in control of your life and now it can go the way you want. Make decisions about your life based on the present and future, not on the past. Set your sights on a path that benefits who you are now and where you want to go in the future. If you see yourself as a victim then you will connect with people who will treat you like a victim.
4) Once you feel more confident about your situation volunteer for an organization that helps others. Nothing puts life’s circumstances into perspective like assisting others who are less fortunate. If you would like to experience how resilient children are volunteer at a shelter for homeless families. These children display resilience on a daily basis. They demonstrate how to transcend the injustices in life and carry on regardless of their living conditions.
Resilience is an essential quality to develop. As we move through life we inevitably encounter dilemmas that require all our strength to transcend. Resilience is a major player in our ability to heal and move on.
Please join Carmela Cattuti as she tours the blogosphere for Between the Cracks: One Woman’s Journey from Sicily to America, from February 9-27, and enter to win a Kindle Touch eReader, loaded with an eBook of Between the Cracks!
Publication Date: August 15, 2013
Publisher: Three Towers Press
Formats: eBook, Paperback
Genre: Historical Fiction
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About the Author:
Carmela Cattuti started her writing career as a journalist for the Somerville News in Boston, MA. After she finished her graduate work in English Literature from Boston College she began to write creatively and taught a journal writing course at the Cambridge Center for Adult Education As fate would have it, she felt compelled to write her great aunt’s story. “Between the Cracks” has gone through several incarnations and will now become a trilogy. This is the first installment. To connect with Carmela email her firstname.lastname@example.org or leave a comment at betweenthecracksnovel.blogspot.com.